


The Colors of My World

by Eydol



Category: Ensemble Stars! (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Friendship, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-03
Updated: 2017-08-06
Packaged: 2018-12-10 14:31:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 11,959
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11693643
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eydol/pseuds/Eydol
Summary: Natsume had always been very observant. Especially when Tsumugi was involved in strange things. It wasn't difficult, because his senior acted strangely when it was the case. Like right now.And so, he had to discover the reason of Tsumugi's sudden change of behavior...





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! A little - long - Natsumugi for our little pleasure~  
> I'll post a chapter a day, with the last one being posted at midnight for Tsumugi's birthday! ♥  
> A big thank to @Fjeril who cheered me on every day, and even found the title~ ♪
> 
> I really hope you'll enjoy the story as much as I did while writing it :3

            The colors of the picture didn’t fade, and it was a true blessing. He had this picture for ten years, now, and he couldn’t help but stare at it for no reason. Or rather, he had one, but he didn’t want to think about it. The colors were still bright, strangely, but it was maybe because his mother took care of it. It was her favorite picture of the four of them having fun during a trip. He smiled while trying to carve the picture in his mind, and took the second one. This one was an important one for him, as it marked the story of a new friend. Friend was a big word now, because he didn’t know if he was seen like one, but until he was told otherwise, it would be “friend”.

            He touched the face of one of the people and a sad smile appeared on his face. He had to carve everything in his mind, to be sure not to forget a thing. He knew it was stupid to use pictures for that, especially when he had all the models near him. But he couldn’t help. It brought back memories, and was comforting. And, mainly, he wanted to take profit of that before it was too late.

 

* * *

 

 

            Natsume sat at the table, soon followed by Sora, ready to play any game that came in their hands. Strangely, that day, Tsumugi came too, but he didn’t want to play. Natsume didn’t understand why his senior was here, and why he was smiling like an idiot - even if it was usual, sometimes, it just pissed off because nobody could be so happy every day - but as much as he didn’t bother them, or start talking about their childhood… This mere thought made him shiver.

“Are you cold, Natsume-kun? Do you want me to close the window?”

“Do what you waNT.”

“Huh? But you’re the one being cold, so…”

“Don’t bother ME. We’re going to explode White and BlaCK.”

“White and… Oh, you mean, the characters in your game. Yes, yes, sure~ I’ll close the window.”

            Natsume rolled his eyes. He guessed he wouldn’t have a quiet afternoon, after all. Why was he here, anyway? Didn’t he have club activities with his own club? Or maybe, Shu and Mika got rid of him?

“Master, who do you think Sora should take?”

“Hm… Green.” Natsume answered once focused on the game.

“Green? The baby?”

“He looks like yOU.”

“Eeeeeh~  Master, you’re mean, eh!”

“I am not.”

“So, I hope Master is my mom and Senpai my dad, eh~”

“Why am I the mothER? That guy is more qualified for that. RigHT?” Natsume answered, turning towards Tsumugi.

            Their upperclassman was deep in thought, it seemed, and didn’t answer him. Natsume groaned and called his name. Tsumugi startled and seemed worried, like every time Natsume spoke. It pissed him off too. He knew he was a little bit too violent with the man, but it was his way to show his feelings. He clearly didn’t dislike the guy, they were childhood friend and had good memories with him. He wouldn’t say they were as close as they were when they were children, but they were friends. _It’s just a lie. A lie you made up when you arrived here. You know why. You know your true feelings._ He chased the voice that bothered him (why was it Rei’s voice, by the way?).

“A problem, Natsume-kun?”

“Sora said that I was his mother, and you, his fathER. But you’re actually the mothER.”

            Tsumugi blinked, worries leaving for a more peaceful expression. He was more handsome when he wasn’t stressed, Natsume thought, and it would be good if he could stop to be tensed every time. _That’s why I’m always hitting him: to harden him._ And also because he couldn’t act like he wanted… And even if he could, he wouldn’t. He wasn’t a girl, after all.

“I… I’m not qualified for being a mother or a father, actually.”

            Natsume almost wanted to facepalm. Why was Tsumugi so serious? Couldn’t he play the game like everyone else?

“Sora thinks you are, Senpai~”

“And you’re the mothER.”

“But doesn’t it mean that we’re…” The word seemed to block Tsumugi for a moment, but he finally whispered: “married?”

“No. We’re divorcED.”

“So we have been married.”

“We weren’T.”

“But...”

“You know what? We weren’t married even once. It was a one-night stand, and you got pregnant. End of the stoRY.”

“What? But it’s impossible. I’m a man, and-”

“Stop that, you’re annoyiNG.”

            Tsumugi opened his mouth but closed it soon after.

“Does it mean that Sora is unwanted, then?”

“WhAT!” Natsume startled.

“Of course not!” Tsumugi hurried up answering. “Mommy and Daddy love you a lot.”

Natsume grinned at that and patted Sora’s head.

“Yes, Daddy loves yOU.”

“I love both of you too!” Sora said. “But Sora would like you to stop hurting Mama, because it’s sad. Mama is love, she shouldn’t be treated like that.”

            Natsume opened his mouth but nothing came from it, and so he closed it, almost groaning. If Sora asked to stop arguing with Tsumugi, then he would do it… Not in front of him, at least.

“Daddy isn’t hurting me,” Tsumugi answered with a smile, surprising Natsume, “ah, I have sweets in my bag, do you want some~? It will be better to play while taking a snack, huh?”

“Eeeeh, Senpai, you think about everything, eh!”

            Natsume said nothing, trying not to jump on Tsumugi and hit him in his shoulder. _Daddy isn’t hurting me… Seriously, sometimes, I just want to shake him to wake him up._ That guy was too kind for his own sake. One day, he would be more hurt than the day he had betrayed by Eichi Tenshouin, and he wouldn’t be able to stand up. And that wasn’t something Natsume wanted to see. _Maybe I should find another way to wake him up._

“Eh? I’m pretty sure it’s here…”

“Senpai, if you don’t have them, it’s fine, you know. Master and Sora won’t be angry against you.”

“I know, but…”

            Tsumugi seemed nervous, so nervous that Natsume could see the sweat pouring from his forehead to his cheek. _It’s only sweets. Don’t tell me you’re afraid of me to that extent…_ And there was a time when they were really good friend, and when they even kissed each other on the lips. They had been children, at this time, but Natsume still remembered it as if it happened the day before (also, Tsumugi thought he was a girl, and even when he learnt that “Nacchan” was actually a boy, he didn’t stop kissing him).

“Senpai, it’s fine,” the red-haired young man said, “we won’t die without the sweeTS.”

“No, I know, but…” Tsumugi bit his lips. “I’m sure it’s inside. I guess I… didn’t look properly.”

“Fine, do what you want. Sora and I are going to continue our club activities. Don’t bother US.”

“O-Okay…!”

“Why are you here, anyway? If you don’t want to play, just get out of heRE.”

“I-I’m sorry.”

            _Stop being so...So…!_ He couldn’t find his words. He sighed, noticing how his words could have been cruel. It was mean of him to treat Tsumugi like that, especially when he had done nothing wrong, and just because he wanted to hide his true feelings for now. It was mean and stupid, and Tsumugi’s expression was so sad that it broke Natsume’s heart even a little bit. He was about to apologize, but the blue-haired young man just left the room, promising to give them the sweets later. When the door was closed, Sora turned towards him, upset, and whispered:

“Ha, hi, hu, he, ho! It was mean, Master. He just wanted to spend time with us.”

“I’ll apologiZE.”

“Please, do~ Sora is worried for him, eh.”

“There’s nothing to worry about him. He has to learn to be strongER.”

“But Sora saw him cry in the toilets, this morning.”

            Natsume frowned. Had Tsumugi be annoyed by Devil himself once again? He could swear that Tenshouin was always Tsumugi’s main problem, but every time he talked about it, his unit member always refuted it. _Why does he always protect him? He’s too gentle for this world._

“I’ll ask him, if you’re so worried about him. But I’m sure it’s nothing, realLY.” Natsume sighed.

“I do hope so,” Sora sighed, “because the color of his smell is becoming blacker, and it’s not a good thing, eh.”

            Natsume prevented a sigh. For Sora to see Tsumugi’s color being black, it meant it wasn’t nothing. What was happening with that guy once again?

 

 

            When Natsume went back home, he was greeted by his two cats, Shiro and Kuro, that he petted for a good ten minutes, a soft smile on his lips. He liked them a lot, and was always here to comfort him when he needed it. They also liked him as they were always with him rather than with his parents.

            He put his bag on the first step of the stairs and entered the kitchen, where he found a note written on a little blue piece of paper. Given the color, it was from his mother.  She wouldn’t be back before late, she wrote, as she was going to a nomikai with her friends, and his father wouldn’t be there before the next evening. Natsume shrugged. It wasn’t the first time, and wouldn’t be the last. He just hoped that his mother wouldn’t call him, drunk, just to ask him to come searching her. He knew it was useless dream, because it was always the same. when she went out with her friends. Sometimes, he met Tsumugi’s father or brother. The father was always happy to see him, and asked him how he was, and apologized for his mother’s behavior. The latter, though, never talked. Not that Natsume liked Tsumugi’s older brother, anyway…

“Guess we’re alone, my babiES.” He said to the cats. “Do you want miLK?” The cats meowed. “Of course you waNT.” He smiled.

            So, he gave them milk and went to his room where he did his homework, even though he perfectly knew he wouldn’t go to classes. Not the first one, at least (he disliked Geography). Once his homework done, he ate a ready-prepared dish, took his shower, and sat on his bed. His phone in hands, he looked at the Switch Line Chat while both Shiro lied on his knees.

“No message, hUH? Coming from that guy, it’s stranGE. He has always something to sAY. Sora toO.”

            He sighed. Thinking about Tsumugi reminded him that he had to apologize. He hated that but had no choice. After all, Sora was right: he hadn’t done something bad, and even if it was always annoying the way Tsumugi seemed afraid of him, they had fun.

“I guess I should do it, huh, kittEN?” He stated, caressing his cat.

            Natsume opened his Line chat with Tsumugi and, after a few minutes, finally wrote:

 

**Natsume** **☆** **彡** **:** Senpai, are you here?

 

            He waited a little bit before the words “read” was written under his text. Tsumugi was here, but he seemed to take his time to answer. As expected. Natsume put his phone away and waited. Tsumugi was always long to answer texts, and it was annoying. He guessed it was because his anxiety, and so, never scolded him for that, but sometimes, Natsume wanted to shake his senior.

            Finally, he heard the ring of the messages application, and took his phone.

 

**Tsumugi:** Yes, big bro?

 

            Natsume arched an eyebrow. Big bro?

 

**Natsume** **☆** **彡** **:** Who are you calling big bro, idiot?

**Tsumugi:** Eh?

**Tsumugi:** Oh my, Natsume-kun! I’m sorry, I thought it was Naoki!

 

            _I have noticed, idiot._ Being mixed with Naoki was kind of rude, especially knowing the relationship between them, but Natsume would do as if he had seen nothing. _Why would his brother send him Line text, anyway?_

 

**Natsume** **☆** **彡** **:** Anyway

**Natsume** **☆** **彡** **:** I wanted to apologize for earlier.

**Tsumugi:** For what?

**Natsume** **☆** **彡** **:** You’re making fun of me, right?

**Tsumugi:** No??? I don’t understand.

**Natsume** **☆** **彡** **:** I’ve been rude with you. Sorry for that.

**Tsumugi:** Oh

**Tsumugi:** Don’t worry for that, Natsume-kun! You were right, after all, I shouldn’t have come.

 

“Tch. You’re taking the blame on you once agaIN. Why can’t you accept that you’re not wrong, sometimES?”

            It was the problem with Tsumugi: he always thought he was useless and stupid, and that he couldn’t do something right. Not that Natsume helped him with his self-confidence. For example, two days ago, Tsumugi showed them their new outfits. Sora found it wonderful (but the young boy always found Tsumugi’s creations wonderful), and if he had to be frank, he liked the new outfit. But of course, he had answered a “yeah, sure, not that bad”. He could have said “it’s really good, you keep improving”, but no.

“I’m an idiOT.” The cat meowed. “Don’t confirm it, that’s mean, ShiRO.”

 

**Natsume** **☆** **彡** **:** Why was you here, anyway? You never answered that question.

**Tsumugi:** Oh hum… I just wanted to see you…

**Tsumugi** : To spend time with you, I mean. You’re both… colorful.

**Natsume** **☆** **彡** **:** What?

**Tsumugi:** I mean, you have a lot of fun, and it’s cute and…

**Natsume** **☆** **彡** **: .**..

**Tsumugi:** S-Sorry.

 

            Why was he apologizing once again?

 

**Natsume** **☆** **彡** **:**...Do you want to come, tomorrow?

**Tsumugi:** Huh?

**Natsume** **☆** **彡** **:** But this time, you play with us!

**Tsumugi:** Are you sure…? I mean, I’m bad at that…

**Natsume** **☆** **彡** **:** You’ll always be  if you don’t practice, Senpai.

**Tsumugi** : Wait… Don’t we have practice, tomorrow?

**Natsume** **☆** **彡** **:** I forgot. Then, the day after tomorrow, we’ll play together with Sora.

**Tsumugi:** Okay…! Thank you, Natsume-kun~

 

            With that, he hoped that there was a big smile on Tsumugi’s face.

 

**Natsume** **☆** **彡** **:** By the way, I didn’t say it properly, two days ago

**Natsume** **☆** **彡** **:** But your outfits are really good. You improved.

 

            There. Now, it was a good apologize, right? And it wasn’t even a lie. And he didn’t even want to punch him, even if it had never really wanted it. It was just an unconscious reaction to his true feelings. Because he was afraid to show his “girly” side (just because of his mother who put him in a girls idols school), and also because he didn’t want Tsumugi to know his true feelings towards him. Sure, they kissed a lot when they were younger, but they were children, so it’s wasn’t abnormal. Now, they weren’t, and if Tsumugi knew Natsume had a thing for men, and especially for him… No. It was better like that.

 

**Tsumugi:** Really?

**Tsumugi:** Thank you, Natsume-kun!

 

            He couldn’t help but imagine the happy face of his senior, and his heart started beating faster. _Stupid heart. It’s just a mental picture._

 

**Tsumugi:** If I can, I’ll do even better next time!

**Natsume** **☆** **彡** **:** Of course you can, idiot.

**Tsumugi:** Maybe.

**Natsume** **☆** **彡** : It’s not maybe, it’s surely!

**Tsumugi:** But, I…

**Tsumugi** : …

**Tsumugi:** Nevermind.

 

            Natsume frowned.

 

**Natsume** **☆** **彡** **:** Don’t say you’re useless.

**Tsumugi:** Haha, if you knew…

 

            No, no, and no! Where was the happy Tsumugi he just got!? His anxiety was terrible!

 

**Tsumugi:** Anyway I’m going to sleep. Have a good night, Natsume-kun. Don’t sleep too late, okay?

**Natsume** **☆** **彡** **:** Hmf. We’ll talk about that tomorrow. Good night, Senpai.

 

            Natsume sighed and put his phone on his pillow, in case his mother called him, and closed his eyes.

            He really needed to shake Tsumugi before it was too late.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is the second chapter~
> 
> I forgot to say that they may be out of character, and I'm so sorry for that... ><

            Practice was about to start and Natsume had to prevent to punch Tsumugi on his arm for the umpteenth times. Sora watched them carefully to be sure that none of them were arguing over something stupid. It was a pity, really, because the blue-haired young man needed to be punched once again. No, he didn’t need it, but Natsume needed, because really, he was tired of Tsumugi’s doubting face. He could understand that he was afraid of messing up the steps, but doubting of his capacities wouldn’t help him.

“Okay, let’s try~!” Sora cheered them up, and Natsume nodded, while Tsumugi played with his thumbs.

            He gave him a little pinch on the right hand and they took place in the room, with Natsume in the middle front, Tsumugi at his left and Sora at his right. And they started to practice their dance, with problems at first, but the more they practiced, the easier it got. Or so, Natsume thought before Tsumugi put his feet against the chair’s legs and fell.

“Are you fine, Senpai?” Sora asked.

“Huh, yes, I think.”

“Why are you near that chaIR?”

“I’m sorry. I was lost in my thought and I didn’t see myself going far away.”

            Natsume arched an eyebrow. He shook his head and helped his senior to stand up. Or rather, he tried, because the blue-haired man hid his face behind his hands.

“Senpai, are you sure you’re fine?” Sora continued. “Do you need us to accompany you to the infirmary?”

            Tsumugi shook his head.

“I-It’s alright.” He said, but they could hear the hiccup in his voice, as if he was about to cry. “I’ll be better soon.”

“Sure?”

“I’m just tired.”

            Natsume sighed and knelt by Tsumugi’s side. _I can’t believe I’m doing something like that._ Then, he took him in an embrace, soon followed by Sora, who started singing a stupid song that the red-haired young man didn’t know. Not that it mattered. He expected Tsumugi to cry, but he didn’t, and when he finally showed his face, it was red, and his eyes were bright. _He wants to cry, that idiot._

“If you want to cry, crY.” He whispered.

“I-I don’t want to cry. There’s no reason for me to cry.”

            Lie was told by Tsumugi’s sweat, and Natsume shook his head, unable to understand his childhood friend. It was as if he didn’t have the right to feel bad once in awhile, when it was actually normal.

“Let’s go back to the practice~! I also made sure to know where the sweets are, so I’ll give it once we’re finished!”

            _A false smile. Tch. You won’t get me like that;_

“Senpai.” Natsume started with a harsh tone, maybe too much because Tsumugi’s false smile disappeared. “I want to talk with you after the practiCE.”

“S-sure…”

            Natsume prevented a sigh and the three members of Switch went back to their practice. This time, it went well. It seemed that Tsumugi was more focused on what they were doing, but the red-haired young man couldn’t help but glanced at him time to time to make sure there was no problem. But even if his senior was still red, he seemed to feel better than before.

            The practice was finally over a hour later, and they waved at Sora who left quickly, having something to do for his family apparently. They didn’t ask what, or rather, they didn’t have the time to ask, but it was a good thing for Natsume who was sure that Tsumugi wouldn’t escape the room while Sora talked with him. It didn’t prevent the blue-haired man to try, at least, and Natsume cleared his throat.

“Don’t think you’ll run awAY.”

“I-I’m not running away.”

            If he wasn’t, then, what was he doing? He noticed the way Tsumugi played with his thumbs, and the fact that he seemed more nervous than usual. It was impossible. Natsume had to do something about that before it was too late.

“Senpai, what I said yesterday was truE. You’re not useleSS.”

“A-ah, thank you, Natsume-kun.”

“So stop saying you are, or I’ll punch yoU.”

“But you’ll punch me even without that.”

            It was right, but Natsume only shook his head, and Tsumugi continued:

“A-Anyway, I wanted to talk about Switch, justly…”

“The games consoLE?”

“What?”

“I’m jokiNG.”

“... I didn’t understand. I mean, us… I wanted to tell you, yesterday, but…” Natsume frowned while Tsumugi rubbed his neck. “I-I think it’s better for me to leave the unit.”

“Excuse-me?”

“I’m going to be useless soon, and I’m not fitting to be an idol, and mainly because I…”

“I’m stopping you right heRE.” Natsume said, feeling anger taking control of his body. “You’re not useless, we need you in Switch, and _you’re fitting to be an idOL_.”

            What was that strange idea, by the way? He knew that Tsumugi’s anxiety was terrible, but it was getting worse.

“But, I…”

“No buT! I need yoU!” Natsume stated, slapping himself mentally when he noticed what he had said. “I mean, we need yoU.”

“R-Really?”

“YeS!”

“But, it doesn’t change the problem, actually…” Tsumugi sighed. “I’ll be useless soon…”

“And whY?”

“Because I…”

            At the very same time, someone opened the door, and Natsume wanted to kill the newcomer. It was Hasumi Keito.

“Ah, Aoba, you’re here.”

“Hasumi-kun…?”

“We need you at the library. Please, hurry up.”

“O-okay, I’m coming.”

            Hasumi closed the door and Tsumugi sighed.

“I’m sorry, I’ll tell you later.”

“WaIT!”

“I’ll… I’ll tell you on the Line chat. The group one.”

“Senpai, don’t run awAY!”

            But it was too late, because Tsumugi took his bag and left the room with only a smile as a good bye.

            And Natsume didn’t know if he wanted to kill Hasumi or Tsumugi.

 

 

“Good night.” Natsume said when he noticed the shoes in the corridor.

“Welcome back, darling.” His mother answered back, and he couldn’t help but smile. “Come fast, I’ve done pancakes.”

“Pancakes? Are you such in a good moOD?”

“Hehe~”

            He entered the kitchen where his mother was putting three pancakes in front of his place - two more when she saw his frown - and sat in front of hers.

“Your father will come earlier, today. For once, we’re going to eat all together.”

“It’s good.”

            And he really thought it. It was rare that they could eat the three of them together, and being able to do so that night was good for the young man. He was still frustrated because of Hasumi and Tsumugi, and it would prevent him to think about it. With his parents around, and their magical stories, it would be a peaceful and funny evening.

            He ate his pancakes slowly, wondering which spell his mother had put in it, and decided it was probably the one for happiness, because he was really happy at this very moment.

“Did Tsumugi-kun talk with you, lately?” She asked suddenly.

“Huh? No. He tried, but…” He shrugged.

            His mother sighed, muttering “as expected”. She knew how Tsumugi was, after all. He didn’t change that much…

“Wait.” He said after a while, frowning. “How did you know he wants to talk with mE?”

            Once again, his mother sighed, and this time, he knew he wouldn’t like it.

“Chiharu was at yesterday’s diner…”

“Diner,” Natsume repeated, “you meant driNK.”

“Diner,” His mother repeated, pulling a face, “and, well, she told us that Tsumugi-kun will have to do a surgery.”

“A surgeRY…? For whaT?”

“His eyes.He’ll become blind. And the worst is that the surgery can fail. Can you imagine it? You do a surgery to save your eyes, and phew, you’re blind.”

            Natsume wasn’t listening anymore. His heart was going faster while his brain finally understood what Tsumugi’s behavior meant. It explained his desire of crying, the fact that he was more sensible and anxious, the fact that he said he would be useless for Switch soon… It also explained why he thought it was Naoki talking with him on Line, the day before. _That idiot._

“There’s nothing we can dO…?” He asked.

“Hope and pray.” The answer was.

“Our spelLS…”

“I wish there was a spell to help him, Natsume, but really… Even if there was one, you know there are ephemeral.”

            Ephemeral, yes… Tsumugi would maybe be blind, and would have to give up on his dreams. He didn’t deserve that. Once again, he was probably thinking he was failing. And now, Natsume had to find the good words to write when Tsumugi would tell them in the Switch Line Chat.

            _Good bye, quiet evening._

 

 

“Oh, hello Natsume-kun!”

            Natsume heard the voices of his seniors, the ones he always admired, but he was so angry, and especially upset, that he could only focus on one of them, and he wasn’t from the Oddballs at all.

            Natsume crossed the classroom, hearing his friends’ worries but not answering them, and stopped in front of Tsumugi’s desk. Tsumugi who had told him that he would explain everything in their group line and didn’t even do it. Worse than that, Natsume sent him texts in their private one, and he didn’t even answer it, even though it was noted as “read” by the man. That’s why he was upset. Natsume wanted Tsumugi talking with him about his problems. Given the way he treated him sometimes, he could understand his senior didn’t want to, but this time, it was an important matter.

            So, Natsume punched him in his shoulder, making him startled as he was reading a book Natsume couldn’t care less.

“Na-Natsume-kun? Why did you punch me? I have done nothing wrong.”

“You did, idiOT.” Natsume answered, arms folded. “We need to talk, noW.”

“But lessons will soon start and-”

“I don’t caRE. The two of us have a reunion noW!”

            He didn’t know if there was something in his tone that warned Tsumugi not to mess with him for now, but at least, it forced the blue-haired young man to stand up and follow him to the Games Club room, head lowered. _So much to stop his anxiety… Hmf. He doesn’t need that right now._

“SorRY.” Natsume said, entering the club room.

“F-for what?”

“For the way I talked to you back in your classroOM.”

“Oh, hm… It’s nothing.”

            Natsume sighed. It was. Besides, Tsumugi will miss a lesson just because Natsume was pissed off, but the red-haired young man thought it was better for both of them, to be ready to announce the bad news to Sora. _Which bad news? I’ll find a way to save his eyes._

            He sat on a chair, and told Tsumugi to do the same. Tsumugi obeyed, seeming really nervous, and avoiding his eyes, his thumbs turning with each other. He knew. He knew what Natsume wanted to talk about.

“Tsumugi-senpai,” he started, choosing his words, “I know. I know everythiNG.”

“You know what?”

“Your mother was with mine two nights agO. She told her what is happening with your sigHT.”

            Tsumugi opened his mouth, then closed it, and opened it again. Then, he lowered his eyes, and whispered:

“I’m sorry…”

“Why are you sorRY?”

“For not telling you before. I… I didn’t know how to say it.”

            Natsume sighed.

“That’s pretty normAL. Since when do you knOW?”

“A month, or something like that.” Tsumugi answered casually. “I’m sorry for yesterday night, I… I had a rendezvous at the hospital, and after that, I talked with my parents, and I wasn’t in a good mood.”

            Natsume could understand, even though he would have liked Tsumugi to answer him that on the chat. Nevertheless, he nodded and asked:

“What are you doing, noW?” Natsume continued when he noticed Tsumugi’s wondering expression. “Do you intend to take the surgeRY?”

“I… don’t know yet.”

“What do you meAN? If there’s a way to save your eyES…!”

“I know, but…” Tsumugi sighed. “Taking the surgery and becoming blind sooner than expected isn’t really the thing I would like, to be honest…”

“Stop saying that it will turn wroNG.”

“Besides,” Tsumugi continued, “it’s expensive, and I’m not sure I want my parents to use all their savings just for that.”

“Just for thAT,” Natsume repeated, in disbelief. “You know that sight is a sense you’ll never have again if you lose it, rigHT? You know it’s importaNT?”

“More than anyone, Natsume-kun. I’m not _that_ stupid. But they worked hard for their savings and I don’t want to be a bother for them.”

“SenpAI!”

“That’s why, I… I think I’m going to leave Switch. I mean, I won’t be really useful when I’ll be blind.”

“Don’t dare telling me you’re already giving uP! And the money you earned thanks to our activitiES?”

            Well, they didn’t have that much activities, but it was better than nothing.

“I… Mom needed money for her things, so…”

            Natsume watched him in disbelief. He gave all his money to help his mother instead of saving in case he needed it - or even to please himself. It was so… So… So Tsumugi. Thinking about others before himself.

“I’ll give you my saving, thEN.”

“What? No, don’t do that! I mean… I know Switch is important to you, but I’m sure, that it will be better with only Sora-kun and you, and…”

            Angry, Natsume slapped the table and stared at his senior straight in the eyes.

“You’re stupid, Tsumugi!” He stated. “You really think that I care for Switch onLY?”

“Well…”

“I care for you too, idiOT! More than anythiNG!”

            And only his seniors knew how much he cared for Tsumugi for years, and only Tsumugi could think he didn’t.

“You… What?”

“But you’re always so pessimistic that you can’t see when people around you are admiring you and loving you more than anything anD-... and... “ What did he just say to Tsumugi…? And why was he crying? “And… I’ll do everything for you not to turn bliND.”

“Na-Natsume-kun…”

            It was stupid. He shouldn’t be crying but couldn’t stop. It was as if Tsumugi just opened all the valves at once, and the water flow was dangerously pouring on his cheeks as a way to show its freedom.

“I… I… I’m not good to show what I truly feel for you, but I don’t want Switch to continue if you’re not here with uS. I won’t be able to bear with iT.”

            Then, he decided to leave the room without saying any other words, ignoring Tsumugi’s “where are you going”, and stopped in the middle of the corridor. He was stupid. He wanted to help Tsumugi, and he would find a way, but getting angry wouldn’t help them at all. That, and the fact that they were in middle of the lessons, and that he couldn’t ask advices to his senior.


	3. Chapter 3

 

“I want Switch to have more activitiES!”

            He opened the door without warning, startling all the members of the Student Council. Even Tenshouin, and it was satisfying from Natsume’s point of vue.

“Excuse-me?”

“Sakasaki, please, leave the room at once and knock to the door before entering.” Hasumi said, but Natsume didn’t listen.

“I want Switch to have more activitiES!” He repeated, crossing his arms.

“Sakasaki!”

“Oooh, annoying~ Eichi-sama, it’s hug time~”

“Why do you want more activities so suddenly?” The said Eichi asked, pating Tori’s head who was hugging his waist as if it was the more natural thing in the world.

“It doesn’t mattER. We need more activitiES.”

“Sakasaki, talk better.” Hasumi sighed. “Eichi, don’t let Himemiya hug you when we’re working, or I’ll be forced to force you to go back home.”

            The way Eichi glanced at him clearly meant he didn’t care at all, and if he wanted him to leave, he would have to kill him. Or at least, that was what Natsume read in his eyes. _Not bad for a dying man, huh?_

“And why do you ask me? Except if there’s a link with fine, what do you want me to do? And why would I help you, anyway?”

            True. Why would fine’s leader help them?

“Because…” Natsume started, unsure of what he was doing and saying for the very first time, “because if we don’t have more activities, Tsumugi wiLL…” He stopped.

“A problem with Tsumugi?”

“Tsumugi will…”

            Could he tell him? And why not? Tenshouin was rich, after all, so, maybe he could help Tsumugi too.

“Aaah, it’s too long~ Eichi-sama, please, hug me instead of taking care of this oddball.”

“My dear Tori, please, wait a little bit. We’re having an adult conversation right now~”

            Then, the Student Council President turned towards him, a soft smile on his lips, and told him to continue. But Natsume was unable to continue, not with people around.

“Let’s talk in privaTE.” Eichi arched an eyebrow. “Please.”

            Eichi seemed to ponder for a moment, before asking the other people in the room to leave until the matter was solved. It didn’t please both Keito and Tori, but by a strange spell, Tenshouin won, and everyone left.

“Hmf. Your tongue is very sweet when you need to obtain thinGS.” Natsume stated.

“Yes, someone tells me that almost every day, and he seems to like that~”

“... I’ll do as if I heard nothiNG.”

“Oh~? Is our talk over, then~?”

            The big hypocritical smile on Eich’s lips made Natsume shiver. He didn’t like him at all, but he was his hope.

“Huh, nevermiND…”

“So, what’s happening with Tsumugi?”

            Natsume clenched his fists, trying to control himself. He hated when Tenshouin called his senior’s name without even the honorifics. It was as if he considered him as his, but Natsume was sure he was doing it on purpose to annoy him.

“Tsumugi will turn bliND.”

            Natsume almost mangled the word, as it hurt him every time he stated that fact. _Tsumugi will turn blind…_ No matter how many time he kept repeating it, it seemed unrealistic. And yet… Eichi stared at him. If he had been surprised by the news, he didn’t show it.

“What’s the link with Switch’s activities? You’re trying to use him before he becomes useless?”

“I’m not like you, thank you very muCH.” Natsume answered angrily. “That idiot gave all his money to his mother, so, he can’t even do the surgeRY.”

“The surgery? Explain me, you’re confusing.”

            _It’s not my fault if you’re stupid,_ Natsume thought, but he kept that for himself, and explained everything to the Student Council President. Eichi muttered a “idiot” when he understood what was happening, but continued:

“What’s the link with me, though? I mean, Switch can have a lot of activities, you just have to warn every one in time.”

“We don’t have enough faNS, and so, we won’t get enough money in time. If fine participates with us, thouGH…” Eichi blinked. “D-Don’t misunderstand me! I don’t want to fight you, I just want to help Tsumugi.”

            Eichi tilted his head, his eyes staring in front of him without noticing, and a few minutes later, he said:

“I need to think about it.”

“We don’t have time for thAT. Tsumugi is…”

“And I don’t want to take a decision without talking about it with my unit members.” Eichi answered softly.

            Natsume could understand, but he didn’t care. He needed to find a way to save Tsumugi before it was too late.

“Besides, I’m sure there are other way to help him.”

“Which onES?”

            The President didn’t answer, already lost in his thoughts. Natsume sighed, told him to warn him once he would have an answer (“and the faster possible”), and left the room, strongly hoping he would accept.

 

 

 

 

“Natsume-kun!”

            Natsume, lost in his experiment, startled, making fall everything around him. He raised his head angrily towards Tsumugi who entered his secret place without warning, but his anger transformed into surprised when he noticed his senior’s face. It was the first time he saw him angry, and it was really surprising.

“Senpai? What’s happeniNG?”

“You told Eichi about my problem!?”

“Because he can help-”

“No! Don’t bother other people for me!”

“But-”

“Thank you for worrying about me, but don’t bring other people into that. I’m grown enough to find a way.”

“And your way is to do nothiNG!”

“It’s my choice, Natsume-kun.” Tsumugi sighed and folded his arms.He seemed suddenly calmer. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to scold you and all, but… I have made my choice, so, please, accept it. And don’t tell people about it.”

            He turned his back and was about to leave, but Natsume was faster than him, and in two big steps, he caught him and forced him to turn towards him. An angry Tsumugi was something he wanted to see more often. It was strange because he had mixed feelings about it, but he knew for sure he loved it, way too much. So, without thinking too much, he forced Tsumugi to bend towards him, and he put his lips on his. It wasn’t how he had imagined their first kiss, but he didn’t care anymore.

“I don’t caRE,” he finally said when they broke their kiss (and he could see surprise on his senior face), “and as I already told you, I’ll find a way to help yoU. I refuse you lose your ability to seE. I want you to watch me forever, and believe me, if it means I have to do the surgery myself, or to give up my idol career and spend years creating a potion, I’ll do iT.”

“Natsume-kun…”

“My mother always tells me that love is a strong spell that can overcome everything, and I believe heR. So, believe it too, even if you don’t like me that waY.”

            He released Tsumugi’s collar and was about to come back near his table when Tsumugi hugged him from behind.

“Thank you,” he said, “I feel the same for you…”

            It had only been a whisper, but it made Natsume feel better.

 

* * *

 

 

            It was difficult to catch their breath after the intense efforts they’ve done, but they all felt there was something fulfilled. It was a feeling they often got after a live ended, and tonight too, they could feel it both in their bodies and hearts.

“It was wonderful, today!” Sora exclaimed.

“It’s always wonderful~” Tsumugi answered, a smile on his lips, sweat dropping from his forehead.

            It fell on his neck, and Natsume wetted his lips. _Ah, it’s becoming more difficult each day…_ Now he knew that Tsumugi returned his feelings, he just wished to hug and kiss him whenever they could. Except that they barely could, because there was _always_ someone with them, as if they knew what would happen if they weren’t. _I guess it means I have to concentrate on the means for the surgery…_ He hoped the live they had done would be enough, but he wasn’t sure of that. Even if fine accepted to help them, he knew it didn’t mean that Switch sold that much. Fine was more popular, after all. _I guess I’ll have to find a part-time work, after all._ His parents would dislike this idea but he had no choice if he wanted to help Tsumugi.

            His sigh was turning worse every day, and Natsume noticed, during the live, that Tsumugi wasn’t at the usual place when they ended. It hadn’t been bad for their performance, but the second-year student knew that Tsumugi was already cursing himself in thoughts for that.

“Good work, everyone. It was perfeCT.”He congratulated them.

“But I-”

“It was perfeCT.”

            Tsumugi opened his mouth but closed it quickly when he saw Natsume coming near him.

“Y-Yes, you’re right, there was no mistake done…” He muttered.

“Actually…” Sora started.

            _No, Sora, please._

“I wanted to apologize, because I wasn’t in my usual spot, and Senpai had to change his too.”

            Oh? So, Sora wasn’t on his position? It was strange because Natsume didn’t notice it. The last time he saw him, he was well positioned. He didn’t know for the rest of their performance, as his eyes were always on Tsumugi when he could, and it wasn’t only because he was worried. _So, Sora made a mistake…,_ he repeated in his mind. Either he made a mistake, or else… _Ah, no. It’s impossible for Sora to know about Tsumugi’s problem. We didn’t tell him yet._ They decided they would tell him a few days before Tsumugi started his surgery if he ever could do it. Like that, their junior would focus only on his idol’s activities without being worried.

“It’s fine. It was a wonderful spell that we casted on the audienCE~!” Natsume said.

“Indeed, it was.”

            Switch’s members turned towards fine’s leader, Eichi, who was smiling softly.

“Thank you for participating with us, Eichi-kun.” Tsumugi said happily.

            _Urgh, I hate when you’re so kind with him. Stop smiling to him, smile for me, thank you._

“You’re really welcome.” Eichi answered. “Also…” He was serious, suddenly, and Natsume frowned, worried of what he could tell them. “Once you’ll know what you earned, tell me, and I’ll give you the rest.”

“Huh, what?” Tsumugi blinked. “We already talked about it, Eichi-kun, I refuse.”

“You refused for all, but it will only be a part, this time. Besides, as I told you, I want to do it.” Eichi shook his head. “You can’t give up now. I’m sure your leader will be able to convince you about that~”

            _About what?_ Natsume thought. Eichi smiled, and left them alone. Tsumugi sighed. Natsume probably missed an episode because he didn’t understand, but, given his senior’s reaction, it was linked to his surgery.

            They went in their dressing room in silence, and while they were changing, Sora said:

“Hey, can Sora tell you something important, eh…?”

            There was no smile on Sora’s face, nor stars in his eyes as usual. It worried Natsume a lot, because the boy was usually cheerful, not sad like he was at this very moment.

“What is it?” Tsumugi asked.

            Natsume hoped it wasn’t a bad news, because he had enough of that. Yet, he knew he would help the boy no matter what, because he saw him like a little brother, and he knew that Tsumugi would also help him, forgetting about his own problems.

“Sora knows, eh.”

            It was the only thing Sora said. Tsumugi and Natsume glanced at each other.

“You know what?”

“Sora knows for Senpai’s surgery…”

            Tsumugi paled, Natsume shrugged. He would have prefered Sora to know later, but it couldn’t be helped.

“H-how?”

“The colors around you were agitated,” he explained,”so, I spied on you.”

“You… What? Sora, it’s not a good thing to do!”

“Why didn’t you tell me before?”

“Because we wanted you to focus on your idol’s activities rather than being worriED.” Natsume explained.

“That, or you wanted to stay between you, eh?”

“Huh? What do you mean?”

“Ha, hu, hi, he, ho~”

            It was the only answer they got. They finished to change their clothes, and Sora continued what he was saying first:

“So, what’s that surgery Senpai had to do?”

            They explained him the situation, and when he learned that Tsumugi didn’t want to take the surgery at first, he got angry. It was the first time both of them saw him so serious and so angry, and even Natsume stepped away.

“Senpai, you’re unconscious!” He stated, arms crossed, and Natsume was really proud of him. “You should take this surgery, especially if there’s a chance, even negligible, to save your eyes, eh.”

“See? Listen our child. He’s wise, _hiM **.**_ ”

“Well, I…”

“By the way, what was Tenshouin talking aboUT?” Natsume continued, stopping Tsumugi before he said something stupid.

“Oh, that…? After you asked for his help, he came to see me. He wanted to pay for the surgery.”

“...Don’t tell me you refusED…”

“Of course I did! I won’t let him use money just for me, after all! I don’t want to be a bother. I’m already for Mom and Dad, and big bro…”

            Sora and Natsume glanced at each other.

“Master, Sora knows he asked you not to do that, but here, you can.”

“Hmf, he deserves it, anywAY.”

“Huh, what?”

            Natsume came closer to the man and punch his arms.

“It hurts!”

“You accept his propositiON.”

“What?”

“I don’t like Tenshouin, but he is right on one point: you can’t give up noW.”

“Senpai, you should accept his offer.”

“But I already bother you, I don’t want to bother him too. Besides, he already helped me pay my mother’s debt a year ago, I don’t want to-”

“Stop that already or I punch you in the facE.”

“Senpai, he told you he wanted to help you too, eh…”

“I’ll count what we earned, and told him what we still neED.”

“Natsume-kun, no!”

“Senpai, stop being stubborn and accept our help, eh. If you don’t take the surgery, you’ll regret it all your life. If there’s a tiny chance for you to keep your sigh, then, take it!”

            Sora had told him that with a soft smile, arms behind his back. Natsume shook his head and took Tsumugi’s hands, intertwining their fingers, and took Sora’s too, before saying:

“Let’s go eat togethER. It’s a good spell against stupidiTY. I’m treating yoU.”

“Eh? Master, you’re too kind~~!”

“Thank you…”

            There were quavers in Tsumugi’s voice, and he squeezed his hand to comfort him. If Sora hadn’t been here, he would have kissed him, but he didn’t want the boy to lose his innocence so fast. Besides, he could wait a few hours before kissing Tsumugi, it wouldn’t kill him, not when he never expected to have his feelings back. Yet, when they were in the subway, and while Sora was playing on his phone, he whispered a “I love you” in Tsumugi’s ear, that made him blush and muttered a “me too” that made him smile.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll post the last chapter in a few hours, when it will be midnight in Japan~♥  
> Thank you for reading!

“Crap, I’m laTE.”

            Natsume stared at the red traffic light, his fingers tapping his arms.

“Hurry, hurry, hurry…!”

            He seemed weird for the people around him, but he didn’t care at all. He was late on that special day, and the mere thought it was because of his alarm that didn’t ring pissed him off. He had done everything to be perfect but his phone had decided otherwise. And now, the traffic lights weren’t cooperative at all.

“It’s a curSE. I should have cast a spell to protect us.”

            Now, it was too late. The traffic light became green, and he hurried up, crossing the road as fast as possible, and ran towards the place of the rendezvous. He had a date with Tsumugi, that day, their first one, and he didn’t want it to get spoiled by traffic lights.

            Natsume arrived at their date place, and spotted Tsumugi waiting on a bench, a piece of paper near his face. _It’s getting worse…_ His boyfriend finally accepted Tenshouin’s offer (not that Natsume let him the choice, anyway), and was now waiting for a date for the surgery. The hospital was too long to give it, Natsume thought, and really, if they didn’t have it before the next week, he would go there himself to get it. He shook his head. _Okay, calm down, don’t think about that for now. Enjoy your day with your boyfriend._ He took a deep breath and came closer to his blue-haired senior who still didn’t notice him.

“Tsumugi, I’m heRE.”

            Tsumugi startled, making fall the piece of paper that Natsume picked up, but his boyfriend took it from his hands and put it on his bag.

“What was iT?”

“N-Nothing important.”

            Natsume frowned. That was suspicious, but he decided not to force him. After all, it wasn’t because they were together that they should talk about everything. They could keep their secret too, bringing them into the grave if they wanted.

“I’m sorry I’m laTE.”

“You’re not. I was here too early.”

“Since wheN…?”

“A hour ago…”

“Why did you come that early? Did you argue with your brother once agaIN?”

“For once, no. Naoki was already out of the house when I woke up.” Tsumugi explained. “No, I was just a little disturbed because I know the date of the surgery now…”

“Oh? When is IT?”

            It was about time that the hospital gives him one! For a moment, he had thought that they forgot it.

“On Thursday.”

“Huh? You mean… This weEK?”

            Tsumugi nodded. It was four days later, during a school day. It annoyed Natsume, but if he had to miss school for that, then he would do it. There was no way he wouldn’t be by Tsumugi’s sides on that day.

“I see. You’ll be soon savED, then.”

            Tsumugi smiled awkwardly and Natsume knew that he was thinking that he also could turn blind faster. But the red-haired young man didn’t want to think about that direction of the future, because it was the saddest, and especially, he couldn’t stand the fact that Tsumugi’s beautiful eyes wouldn’t be able to see him ever again.

“Anyway, let’s GO.”

“What will we do, today?”

“Hm…”

            That was a good question whose Natsume didn’t have an answer. He hadn’t thought about that when he proposed it to Tsumugi, and now, they were together without doing a thing. Not that it bothered Natsume: he was with Tsumugi, it was enough for him, but he knew it wouldn’t be the best first date if they did that.

“What do you want to dO? And don’t tell me **“** as you wish **”** because I’ll punch yoU.”

            It was a bad habit from the blue-haired man who always let people decide for himself.

“I want…” Tsumugi starting, thinking hard. “Fabrics.”

“Huh? FabriCS? Like… fabriCS?”

“Yes, fabrics. I need fabrics.”

            Natsume blinked. He hadn’t expected that, but yet again, it was Tsumugi, he shouldn’t expect normal things.

“Fine, let’s buy fabrics, theN. And after, we’ll…” He thought a little before continuing: “Eat, because knowing you, you’ll take your time with the fabriCS.”

            Tsumugi pulled a face, it made him smile. It wasn’t the first time he bought fabrics with Tsumugi as the blue-haired man seemed to need them every week, to the point that Natsume always wondered if he ate it during his club. It was a stupid joke he often told himself, but every now and then, he saw himself accepting it as it was a true fact.

            Tsumugi stood up, and after a nod, they went towards the fabrics shop. As expected by Natsume, Tsumugi took his time, but he noticed that he took green, yellow, and white fabrics. He wondered what for it was, but he didn’t ask, afraid of disturbing his focused boyfriend. Besides, the last time he asked someone why he took such fabrics, it lasted for hours, and he still didn’t understand, even after a whole year.

            When Tsumugi was finally done with his fabrics and that he bought it, they went to a restaurant - a fast food actually - and they sat in a corner of the room when they finally got their orders. Natsume was eating his nuggets when he noticed how Tsumugi was looking around, then staring at him for no reason.

“A problem?”

“Ah, no, nothing.”

“So why are you looking around like thaT?” He asked, but Tsumugi did as if he didn’t hear him and ate his hamburger.

            _I can’t believe he’s ignoring me!_

“You know, I won’t eat you if you answer mE.”

“No, but you’ll punch me.”

“Oh. I’m not sure I want to know, noW.” Natsume sighed. “So?”

“I just… Nevermind. I don’t want to spoil the ambiance.”

“Tsumugi.”

“Natsume-chan~”

“Don’t call me like thAT!”

“Then don’t ask question whose you don’t want the answer.”

            Natsume frowned.

“Are you in your rebellious phase, senpAI?”

“Don’t call me senpai when we’re alone, it’s too strange. Especially in that context.”

“Then, stop being annoying and tell me what’s you’re doiNG.”

“Urgh, you’re too stubborn for your own sake.”

“But you like me like thaT.”

“I don’t like you,” Tsumugi answered, making froze Natsume, “I love you.”

            He blushed, and Natsume felt his own cheeks on fire. He took a sip of his soda, and once he was feeling less embarrassed, he said:

“I wasn’t expecting you to tell such a thing in a public plaCE.”

“Me neither…” Tsumugi muttered. “I can’t believe I’ve done something like that…”

“I love when you do things like that, thouGH. You should do it more oftEN.” Tsumugi blushed and muttered something, but Natsume threw him a fry potato on his hand. “Next time you self-depreciate you, I punch yoU.”

“You don’t need that to punch me, though.”

“It’s for you to stop doing thaT.”

“It doesn’t work like that, Natsume-ch-”

“Don’t.”

“Natsume-kun~”

            And he was proud. _But I love him more when he smiles, even just for a stupid thing. I want to him smile every day. I want to see sparkles in his eyes every time he sees something interesting._ He knew it for years now, when they first met. The first time he saw Tsumugi, he had been mesmerized: long and curved blue hair, beautiful gold eyes with sparkled inside it. He loved his eyes. They were so expressive, so full of hope that when Natsume felt bad, he couldn’t help but stare at it. It always made Tsumugi blush. Even as a child, Tsumugi had been shy. Always in the shadow of his brother, too clumsy and idiot for his mother - he remembered a day where he had heard Missis Aoba scold his son because he wasn’t able to sing properly, “unlike his brother”. Actually, even now, Natsume wondered why Tsumugi was so gentle with his family’s member, and specially his mother who was never satisfied with him.

“Tsumugi?”

“Yes?”

            The blue-haired man was fighting with his hamburger, and a bit of the sauce was on his cheek. It made him chuckle, and he warned his boyfriend who cleaned it, embarrassed.

“So, what I wanted to ask…” He started more seriously now that Tsumugi’s face was clean, “why did you become an idOL? **”**

“Huh? Why…”

“You don’t do it for your mother, right? She didn’t force yoU?”

            Tsumugi looked away. _Oh no._

“At first, it was for her, yes.”

“Tsumugi…!”

“Naoki didn’t continue, and she had been so disappointed that she did everything to enroll me in Yumenosaki.”

“I can’t believe it! And you said nothiNG?”

“I… didn’t know what to do at this moment, so it was fine with me. And actually, I don’t regret it. Sure, he had problems, especially with Eichi, but in the end, I love being an idol, and I even ended up in your unit, and met Sora too.”

            _I love being an idol._ And his body decided to bother him now that he found something he enjoyed.

“I see…” Natsume whispered. “Let’s continue to have fun all together in the futuRE!”

            Tsumugi nodded slightly. They finished eating, and continued their date, avoiding the subject of Tsumugi’s eyes, and of the future. They ended up in an arcade game, and when it was time for them to go back home, it was alright dark.

“I’ll see you home.” Tsumugi sing-sang.

“I’m a big boY **.** ”

“Hmhm.”

            Natsume shrugged. He didn’t mind it, as it meant more time with him. They arrived in front of his home twenty minutes later, and Tsumugi cupped his face with his two hands, and stared at him intensively. Natsume blushed, because their faces were near each other, and he said:

“If you want to kiss me, just do it, idiOT.”

“No, I… I’m trying to grave you in my mind.”

“Huh? What do you meAN?”

“In case I’m turning blind…” He just said, and Natsume didn’t have the strength to slap him, or to argue with him.

            Because even if he was hoping that Tsumugi wouldn’t turn blind, he knew there was a possibility for it to happen, and he couldn’t prevent his boyfriend to do something like that. And maybe, it was what he was doing, back in the fast food. And he couldn’t stop him, because he understood him. Finally, they kissed, and Natsume didn’t know if it was only him, but the kiss was bitter. He couldn’t understand why. He watched Tsumugi leave minutes later, and once he couldn’t see him anymore, he entered the house.

            He went in his room, and lied on his bed. Kuro and Shiro, his cats, came near him. He hugged them, and a tear poured on his cheek. _Please, save him…_

 

* * *

 

 

“Come in.”

            Natsume took a deep breath, and once ready, entered the room. It was a little room, like he always saw in the movie, and sat on the bed, a surprised expression on his face, Tsumugi stared at him.

“Huh? Natsume-kun? Why are you here?”

“I came for you, idiOT.”

            And he had been right to come, given there was no trace of Tsumugi’s family. He hoped it was only because they were searching for a drink, but he doubted it.

“But… You have classes, today.”

“I don’t care. You’re more importaNT.”

            He didn’t want to let Tsumugi alone on that day. It was an important and terrible day, and Natsume couldn’t feel going to class when he knew his boyfriend was probably alone in his room, waiting for his surgery.

“Thank you.”

“Is your family heRE?”

“Does it look like it is?”

“No.”

“Then, you have your answer.”

            Tsumugi chuckled. How could he chuckle knowing he was alone? Or maybe was he relieved that someone was here for him?

“They’ll probably come in a few minutES.”

“The surgery is in ten minutes, so I’m not sure…”

“Huh? Wait, wasn’t it in a hoUR?”

“Apparently, I was lucky enough for it to be advanced.”

            Natsume didn’t know if it was luck, but if Tsumugi thought it was, then he wouldn’t destroy it. The red-haired young man came closer to the bed, and kissed his boyfriend. He took profit of it before the arrival of the nurses, because he didn’t know when he would be able to kiss him again. _Look at me. It looks like he’s going to die._ He wouldn’t, but he knew that of both of them would if Tsumugi turned blind, in the end.

“Everything will be alrigHT.” He whispered, more to comfort himself than Tsumugi.

            If Tsumugi wasn’t convinced, he didn’t show it. The nurses arrived minutes later, taking Tsumugi from him, letting Natsume alone in the room. He didn’t know how much time it would take, and he didn’t even think to take something with him not to get annoyed. So, he just sat on a chair and waited, lost in thought.

            He prayed for Tsumugi, hoping that the surgery went well. He even casted a spell before coming to bring him luck, and he really hoped it worked. Because he wasn’t sure he would be able to bear with a blind Tsumugi. _Look at me, I’m stupid. He would be the more hurt, and yet, I’m the one who won’t be able to stand it._ That was because he loved Tsumugi, and he didn’t want him to suffer. He liked his gold eyes, and he didn’t want them to be hurt. And he couldn’t do a thing, but be mentally prepared, and be here for his boyfriend. Something Tsumugi’s family should also do, but he guessed they couldn’t because of their work. One of them could have taken a day-off, though.

            After what seemed long hours, the door of the room was opened, and the nurse came back with a sleeping Tsumugi. His eyes were protected by a bandage, surrounding his skull, pressing his blue hair. Natsume’s heart beat faster against his chest. He didn’t dare asking the nurses about the surgery, and yet, he wanted to know. He wanted to know if Tsumugi was safe. But he didn’t need to ask, as the nurses turned towards him.

“Are you a relative?”

“I’m his childhood frieND.”

“Is there a relative here?”

“No. I’m _the only one_ heRE.”

            He emphasized the sentence a little to make them understand how pissed off he was with Aoba’s family.

“I see…”

“We have no choice. We can’t let that happen.”

“I know.”

            Natsume frowned. What was happening? _Please, don’t tell me the surgery went bad or else, I…_

“How… Did the surgery go welL?”

“The surgery itself did.” One of the nurse answered. “But we won’t know before next week.”

“Eh?”

“Please, once he wakes up, tell him not to touch his bandage no matter what. If his eyes are exposed to the light, it could go wrong.”

            Natsume paled at the sole mention of the risk, and nodded. The nurses left, and he sat on the chair, taking Tsumugi’s hand in his, closing his eyes. _Please, make sure it worked…_ , he prayed. Ah, he would cast a lot of spells until the next week, to be sure it worked. He would ask his mother’s help too, as her powers were stronger than his.

            Tsumugi woke up twenty minutes later, and Natsume had to calm him down as he started panicking when he noticed he saw nothing.

“It’s alright, Tsumugi. It’s normal, there’s a bandaGE.” He explained calmly, rubbing his boyfriend’s hand. “The nurses said not to touch it before next weEK.”

“Eh…?”

“You have to protect your eyes from the light for noW”

“Did… Did it work?”

“We don’t knoW. We’ll know when you’ll remove your bandaGE.”

            Tsumugi calmed down a little bit, but he still was afraid. His hand in Natsume’s was shaking, and even with the rubs, he didn’t seem to appease. So, Natsume sat on the edge of the bed, cupped Tsumugi’s face with his hands, and kissed him. It put Tsumugi at ease, at least, but also himself. Fortunately, thanks to the bandage, Tsumugi couldn’t see how Natsume was worried.

“I can’t wait for you to see ME,” he whispered, “and to see my fist on your faCE.”

“Eh? What did I do?”

“I told you to stop calling me Natsume-chan, and yet you did it again when you woke UP.”

“S-sorry.”

            Natsume sighed, then, rest his head against Tsumugi’s chest. He could hear his heart beating faster, and it made him smile, happy to know that it was probably because of him.

“I’m tired, I’ll sleep heRE.”

“Eh? On me?”

“Why noT?”

“But…!”

“Silence, you’re comfortabLE.” Natsume whispered. “And nobody is here so we caN.” He added. “It will be easier when we’ll live togethER.”

            He was slowly falling asleep against Tsumugi, and he wished to do that every day. Ah, he was too cheesy when he was around that guy…

“Eh? L-living together? What do you mean?”

            But Tsumugi never got his answer.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy birthday Tsumugi ♥♥♥

“Natsume-kun?”

“Hm? If it’s to tell me I should go have fun for the umpteenth time of the day, I’ll punch you so hard you’ll remember that you’re more importaNT.”

“Huh, no, it wasn’t for that.”

Tsumugi pouted, but Natsume knew more than anyone what his boyfriend thought, and since his surgery, the blue-haired young man tried his best to make sure Natsume didn’t stay with him. He knew it was because he was scared of Natsume being annoyed to be at the hospital, but the red-haired man prefered to be there. Outside, he was thinking too much about the future, the bad one.

“I just wanted to ask if you could give me the plastic bag in the wardrobe, actually.”

            Natsume tilted his head, and opened the wardrobe.

“A blue onE?”

“Yes, please.”

            Natsume took the plastic bag and gave it to Tsumugi who thanked him with a smile, and he took something from it. Natsume noticed it was clothes, and frowned when he recognized the colors of the fabrics.

“I wanted to show you…”

“What is iT?”

“Switch’s new outfits.”

“When did you do thAT?”

“I started it before our rendezvous, and finished it before my surgery.”

“Wait.. Are you telling me you spent all your nights on iT?”

“Not all the night, but a good part, yes, why?”

“... Are you stupID?” Natsume asked in disbelief. “You were about to do a surgery for your eyes and instead of taking a rest, you tired thEM?”

“Hm… I-I just wanted to finish it before it was too late…”

            Too late. Ah, yes, it wasn’t still sure that Tsumugi would be able to see it once the bandage removed. He had a good point, but it didn’t mean he should have done that.

“They’re… beautifUL.” He finally commented, touching the outfits. “Way better than the ones befoRE.”

            Ah, didn’t he do the other ones weeks ago? When Tsumugi was too serious about something, it was terrifying.

“But there’s only twO.”

“I… didn’t do mine yet.” Tsumugi explained nervously. “I was waiting for…”

            He didn’t continue his sentence. He didn’t need to. Natsume answered nothing and took the outfit between his hands.

“Do you want to try it?”

“Not noW.”

            He wanted Tsumugi to see it. And if he couldn’t, then he would never wear it. It was as easy as that. And about Sora’s outfit… Well, the third member of Switch was big enough to do whatever he wanted.

            Someone knocked on the door, probably a nurse or a Aoba, Natsume thought, but he was surprised to discover, seconds later, Sora. _Did he hear my thoughts?_ It was a stupid thought, Sora didn’t have this kind of power.

“Master, Senpai, hello~”

“Sora-kun? I’m surprised to see you here~” Tsumugi said, and they could hear in his voice that he was happy.

“Sora came for you, eh~”

            He then came closer to the blue-haired boy and put a little plastic bag between his hands.

“What is it?”

“Cookies Sora have cooked for you, Senpai.” Sora explained happily. “I have also for Master.”

“Huh? ME?”

“Yes, yes~”

            Sora gave him a little plastic bag too, and finally, both Natsume and Tsumugi ate one, and were mesmerized by it. They spent almost ten minutes to praise it, and their junior seemed so pleased that Natsume couldn’t help but smile. Switch without Tsumugi and Sora wouldn’t be Switch. He never told them, but it was a blessing to have them near him, cheering each other, having fun together. If one of them just left the group, it would be a disaster in Natsume’s little world. That was why he needed both of them safe. Tsumugi’s surgery had to work or else…

“Master, are you alright?”

“Huh? Why are you asking thAT?”

“You’re crying…?”

            _Eh?_ He touched his cheeks. He cried and he didn’t even notice it? What was happening with him?

“Why am I…?”

“Natsume-kun, are you alright?”

“Master, are Sora’s cookies so good that it made you cry?”

“Yes, it’s because your cookies are goOD, Sora. I’m proud of yoU.”

“Ha, hi, hu, he, ho~” Sora sang.

            It wasn’t because of the cookies, he knew it, but he didn’t want to worry his two friends for nothing. He was a fool thinking about a bad future he would definitely not live, no matter what.

  


 

_“I want Tsumugi’s surgery to work.”_

            Natsume looked at his wish  written in the ema in his hands, unable to know if it was a good idea or not. He believed in magic, in spell he casted, because it worked most of the time. But praying to gods, making a wish at the temple, wasn’t something he often did. It was only during Tanabata, because his parents forced him. Because he rarely had a wish. The only wish he got was about his feelings towards Tsumugi, and he thought it was stupid for someone to make a wish for his crush to return it.

            But this time, spells couldn’t do a thing. This time he could pray only, and have faith. This time, he decided it was worth the try, and if he had to threaten the gods, then he would do it (even if he was conscious it was a stupid thing to do). He took a deep breath and hanged up his ema on the board, like many other ema waiting to be burnt. It would be burnt the next morning. He would know the result of the surgery in three days.

            He really hoped this ema would do its job.

 

* * *

 

 

            It was unnerving how this day started normally. It was as unnerving as Tsumugi’s smile. When Natsume arrived in his room, his boyfriend was smiling, but he could see it was a false smile, and he made the remark.

“A-Ah? Is that so obvious?”

“It iS. Why are you faking a smiLE?”

“Because I’m… I’m scared.”

            Of course, it was obvious he was. Natsume also was scared. It was the day they would know the result, after all. It was terrifying. He felt anxious and had butterflies. It was stupid. He should be confident, at least for Tsumugi. Tsumugi’s fist clenched on the white blankets. And it was unfair, Natsume thought, that his boyfriend had to feel like that. He deserved to be happy.

“But you know, if I smile, it feels like everything will be alright… So, I smile, or I try.”

            He was strong. Stronger than Natsume who wanted to cry. How could he be so strong? _I am the one telling him to be confident, and yet, I’m the less confident right now. I’m a fool._

“Everything will be alright, Tsumugi, you’ll seE.”

            He hoped his voice didn’t betray him. He didn’t want Tsumugi to know that he was as scared as him.

“Yes, you’re right.” Tsumugi nodded, and it was the first time he accepted that so quickly. “Natsume, thank you for being by my side.”

“Huh, it’s normal.”

“Do you think? You’re the only one who spend so much time with me since I’m here?”

“Well, I love you, so...I mean, it’s normal to be here for yoU. It’s pretty bothering to be here aloNE.”

“I love you too.”

            This time, Tsumugi’s smile was frank. In a way, it comforted Natsume. _Even if he loses his sight, he will still have his smile._ He took his hand and rubbed it. Five minutes later, nurses and a doctor entered the room, and they had to release their hands. They asked Natsume to leave the room, and he did it, hearing a last “please, close the curtains”. Once in the corridor, he put his back against the wall, and waited, his eyes focused on the door, his teeth biting his lips.

            What was happening inside the room? Was Tsumugi alright? Could he see, or was it lost? His heart was beating faster and faster the more he thought about it, and his throat was dry. He was nervous. He went to the end of the corridor, and took a soda at the vending machine. When he drank a sip of it, he felt better, but not enough to feel confident. He really hoped that Tsumugi was alright. He didn’t what he would do if he wasn’t…

            He heard the doctor and the nurses and turned his face towards them. They were leaving Tsumugi’s room. Natsume swallowed and, once he had finished his can and thrown it in the bin, he went in front of the door. There, he took a deep breath and knocked. Tsumugi answered. _It is the moment… I never thought I would be so nervous. It looks like I’m going to propose to him. Even for a live, I’m not stressed like that…_

            He opened the door. The first thing he saw was Tsumugi, without his bandage, staring at his hands. Or maybe he wasn’t starring. Who knew except him? He raised his head towards Natsume, his beautiful eyes staring at him as if they tried to read his soul. Natsume moved, coming closer to the bed, and then noticed. Tsumugi’s eyes were following him. _Wait…_ When he stopped near him, Tsumugi’s expression softened, and a smile appeared on his lips.

“Isn’t it the sweater I offered you for Christmas?”

“You… You can see…?”

“Yes. Thank you, Natsume. If you haven’t been here, I wouldn’t have taken the surge-”

            Natsume didn’t let him finish his sentence. He didn’t need him to, anyway. He let the tears escape, and Tsumugi gave him a hug. He smiled, raised his head, and kissed him. He promised to go to the temple before going back home.

            He had Gods to thank.

           

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For people wondering, an ema is a wood slab that you can buy in a temple. You write a wish on it, and then you hang it up with the other ema. The next day, it will be burn, for your wish to be fulfilled~
> 
> Thank you for reading this fic until the end ♥ I really liked writing it, and I really hope you liked it as well :3


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